Heh, got an ominous email from the Home Office...
"You applied for a replacement [BRP or BRC]" (Way back in October actually...)
"Your application is void and cannot be considered. This notice explains why."
<cue panic, WTF, oh no... shit... what...?!?!
>
"The [...] service is now closed" (OK, I presume this is the "why", not something I've done wrong?)
"Your application will not be considered" (getting jittery again)
"Instead, you should now sign into your [UKVI] account to check that all your information and your permission is correct."
OH, RIIIIGGGHHHTTT... so what you're saying is you fucked up, and as we already suspected we can just use the eVisa system right? And we wasted all that time with forms and biometrics and junk?
I think the only way we're ever going to know for sure is to leave the UK and see if we can get back in again.