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Any techie on the fediverse with a non-technical spouse who thought about their technical/digital legacy?
My wife has no idea about my VPS, my domains (incl. her own), my blog, my GitHub profile or any other tech-specific stuff. Should I write some kind of “handbook” for her, in case of my death?
#AskFedi
@n_develop I have a designated survivor in my friend group that I have tasked with maintaining the WageNet when I go dark. He'll get access to my password vault and he's promised to keep everything running.
Also, yes, a handbook might be handy.
@wagesj45 Involving a technical friend might be a quick and sustainable option. Thanks for the hint. But I assume some written guidance for my wife will be important as well.
@n_develop Please, please do _something_ to document, if not to them, at least to a trusted technical friend.
FIL died pretty unexpectedly and MIL was pretty unable to understand — or cope — with VPN, but also all the alerts, alt addresses, auto-renews, MFA. At a time when you're not equipped to learn all that, everything needs to be done on the web.
4.5 years later, we're still unraveling it.
@BramMeehan That's exactly what it would be for my wife, if I pass tomorrow. So much MFA, SmartHome, password manager, domains, you name it.
Thanks for the hint with the technical friend.
@n_develop You should. Because, and this is dark but we're in a dark place, they might not survive you and someone else may need to take care of all of this stuff.
@TheRealPomax Also very true. Sad, but true.
@n_develop Yes, it is one of my digital garden plots I've been adding to over the years. As I find little tidbits or someone makes a suggestion, I've been adding to it.
@n_develop I was also just talking to Partner about my dad's final words to my brother, which was to making sure he had the password to his BitWarden correct.
@dmoonfire Great resource. Thanks for the pointer.
Yes.
Add a password archive, regularly updated, on a USB key that you put with the handbook, clearly labeled.
@ParadeGrotesque Good and clear guidance. Thank you.
You are very welcome.
@n_develop make a vidéo ?
@zulutoo I haven't thought about that. But a video would be super accessible and easy to use. Even if it's more work keep it up-to-update. Great idea.
@n_develop I thought about it and decided I don't care. :)
@greg Also a valid way to go.
as a non-technical spouse: please! On paper. And on a USB stick.
If there are things that you care about and want dealt with in a certain way or don't want her to lose: write it down!
@fritzoids @n_develop
Was thinking about that as well.
My plan was to ask and reference one or two technical friends, who could help in the worst case.
also: godparents for your stuff, projects, etc, yes!
@n_develop At the very least, you should document what's there and provide some level of access. At the simplest level, this might be just making sure your spouse has access to your password manager database, your phone, and a trusted friend or two who can help to unravel things.
I wouldn't try to document everything; that probably changes too quickly for it to be particularly useful. But do provide a starting point and an actionable set of steps. E.g., what billing information needs updating?
@n_develop Note that something like "spouse has access to password manager database" does not need to mean that your spouse has that level of access *now*. Just that you arrange so that such access can be handled easily after you die.
@mkj Great advice. I'm totally comfortable with giving my wife access to my password manager now. There's nothing in there she must not see. 
And yes, password manager + phone access will be most important.
@n_develop I figure that password manager and phone will let a person with the technical knowledge sort out most of the rest. Without those two, everything gets so much harder.
Yes, yes & yes. I am the wife who didnt get one & similar to what Bram in this thread says, years later still unraveling & even trying to understand, as no one tech friend understands it all. So many good ideas in this thread too.
@Su_G Thanks for sharing. I will definitely do something about it.
@n_develop I've been thinking about the same sorts of things. And all the passwords for all of the many accounts....
@charleshb I got most of my accounts/passwords in my password manager. Hopefully, access to the password manager will get her most of the way. Plus access to my phone for MFA stuff of course.
@n_develop yeah before I had hip replacement surgery I gave her the key for my password vault
@n_develop @trendless Be sure to will access to your accounts. This gives them a legal document regarding ownership / control.
@human3500 @trendless Also important advice. I will update my will. Thank you.
@n_develop @trendless Digital assets are assets. All your intellectual property is likely digital. If it has value, it's best to establish a new custodian.
x7 @n_develop YES.
FIL passed but he left complete notes, instructions, passwords, information for MIL and children to take over.
There was still estate paperwork, bills, credit card ownership to sort, but FIL was completely organized with folders.
@n_develop Essentially, have the password to your laptop & phone (which, together, should have access to everything) written down with your POA & Will paperwork, and a list of trusted IT-savvy folks.
Having been involved in gray-hat hacking for deceased friends (with the permission of the family), just having the password to the laptop and passcode for the phone would have made my life dramatically easier.
If she needs it to function.
@n_develop My dad just died and... absolutely, yes, 100%. Not just the tech stuff, too. Anything you maintain or keep up with online, financially, around the house, maintenance-wise...
@triphazard I very sorry for your loss.
And thank you for the encouragement to write stuff down. I assume a lot of tech folks (including me) don't think about it until it's too late.
@n_develop Something else to consider that I didn't think of before... if you have friends who you only know online (social media, games, chat, etc), a list of who to contact (and how) might bring a lot of helpful closure to said people. My dad played some games online and if I hadn't been familiar with them, those people might have never known what happened to him. Just another name gone dark, never to type again.
@n_develop this may be more than you're looking for, but better over than under https://github.com/potatoqualitee/eol-dr
@chookity That's a great template. Thanks for sharing.
@n_develop I know that my partner has written a short handbook, which I think includes both technical and non-technical instructions for me to follow after their death. I've been begging them to walk through the instructions with me to make sure I understand them and am not missing important information.
I've also written a file of my own, containing my part of our household knowledge. However, again, there has been no actual walkthrough, and I believe that that is a mistake.
So, if your wife is receptive to your idea of writing a handbook, I suggest writing it, then offering to go through it with her.
@Lkdc Thanks for sharing. I will offer my wife a walkthrough once a got to a more or less completed state. That's a great idea.
@n_develop
Yes. Make a binder that is kept up to date with the information that another tech person could use to spin down and break down your setup and give your spouse everything they need.