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@atoponce@fosstodon.org> “Dad, why is my sister’s name Rose?”
“Because that’s your mother’s favorite flower.”
> “Thanks, Dad!”
“No problem, Fortran.”
@atoponce
"But Dad, why did I..."
"For the last time, Cobol, shut the fuck up!"
@atoponce Fun fact, I actually programmed in Fortran (or to be more specific, Fortran-77). It's an extremely simple language.
The coolest part is that if your line of code is longer than 72 characters, you have to continue on a new line. Why? Well, because punchcards only have room for 72 characters.
I found your post and saw it was 3 days old, which makes it more than likely that the teen's parents were coding in Fortran in this millennium. Poor sods.
Also, my neighbor's kid is called Ada.
@mintyfresh @atoponce The code I worked on did mostly string manipulation, which is not Fortran's forte. My boss had figured out, for example, that the quickest way to capitalize a letter was to create an array (call it "uppercase") in which the uppercase letter was stored in uppercase[ASCII-of-lowercase-letter]. So uppercase[97] contained 'A' and so on.
@mintyfresh @atoponce I think in our case, memory was less important than performance.
@atoponce all the cool kids are christened "forth" ... heh ... *scnr*
@atoponce it's all fun and games until VHDL shows up
@atoponce it could be worse. Imagine if your name was "Microsoft Visual J++ 2.0”, and your folks had been calling you Veejay up until you had to fill out a formal document
@atoponce The only thing I remember about Fortran is that it was an improvement from Threetran.
@atoponce Well, little Fortran. Let's start with the goto statement. It's like the queen in chess. You can move anywhere. Very powerful. Use it often.
@atoponce "Ugh, BASIC, why are you so... Never mind."
@atoponce there's a Russian kid's book "Энциклопедия профессора Фортрана" ("professor Fortran's encyclopedia"), so at least there's fictional precedent to a human named Fortran
@atoponce yeah, lets see when my daughter realise this, her second name is Ada 
@atoponce i can't stop laughing at this