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Robert G. Callahan, II<p>The point to all this is to say men are not the gatekeepers to your beauty or worth. Or any woman’s</p><p>Don’t allow men to tell you whether you measure up - directly or in comparison to another woman you hear them sizing up. Their doing so is an exercise of power &amp; they know it (end)🪡</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>After he used her &amp; belittled her more, it increased his social capital &amp; somehow he ended up dating other girls who were even higher in the high school social caste.</p><p>Dating the 1st girl legitimized him &amp; gained him entry to higher circles. All the while he was REGULAR. (5/6)</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>I recall a pretty girl w/ insecurities got ostracized by a group of loser guys cause she wouldn’t give them the time of day (I’m not trying to absolve myself - she’d already rejected me🫠). They belittled her so much that she ended up dating one to get approval. (4/6)</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>This was a conscious attempt to humble her. To bring her down &amp; lift myself up. I have something that she wants: affirmation. </p><p>Now IDK that I had the vocabulary for all of it but I knew what I was doing &amp; other boys did too. And sometimes it worked. (3/6)</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>It’s endemic of toxic masculinity &amp; the idea that women’s beauty should serve men. And I know it’s true because I remember consciously doing it in high school. </p><p>If a pretty girl was mean or rejected me, I would NEVER acknowledge anything good about her again. (2/6)</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>Among discourse of Margot Robbie &amp; what women are “mid” or 10s, @rebmasel made a good point:</p><p>MEN WITHHOLD ACKNOWLEDGING A WOMAN’s BEAUTY TO HAVE POWER OVER HER</p><p>Oh, you think you’re pretty? No, ✨I✨determine your worth. You’re mid.</p><p>As a recovering toxic male, it’s 100% true: 🧵</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>The next time a GenXer says, “Our parents used to do this and we turned out okay”, please know that it’s a lie.</p><p>We did not turn out okay.</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>What if God isn’t looking for masculine men, but for holy men?</p><p>I see why the “Christianity is cool😎 ” campaign was launched. No one wants to be lame. But the faith that got ppl fed to lions was never about status. *That’s* why we’re countercultural.</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>The chasm separating us from those who hurt us, esp ⚪️ evangelicals, is not of our creation so we can’t seal it. We won’t get to wholeness pining for them to come to their senses &amp; cross over. </p><p>There’s community w/ the poor in spirit if we’re not too prideful to be among their number.<br /><a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/antiracism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>antiracism</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/racism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>racism</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/church" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>church</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/faith" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>faith</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/Jesus" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Jesus</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/spirituality" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>spirituality</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/god" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>god</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/sbc" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>sbc</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>Evergreen principles when discussing <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/spiritualabuse" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>spiritualabuse</span></a>, <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/misogyny" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>misogyny</span></a> in <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/religion" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>religion</span></a>, or ways implicit bias &amp; <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/racism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>racism</span></a> land on <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/BIPOC" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>BIPOC</span></a> in the <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/Church" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Church</span></a>. <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/antiracism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>antiracism</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/religiousabuse" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>religiousabuse</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/religioustrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>religioustrauma</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/religioustraumasyndrome" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>religioustraumasyndrome</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/churchabuse" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>churchabuse</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/racism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>racism</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/evangelical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>evangelical</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/evangelical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>evangelical</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>If you say 🟤 folks are advocating for freedom from injustice “the wrong way” but your online presence shows NO evidence that you’ve ever done ANY advocacy for minorities, it can only be because you‘ve never been concerned enough to soil your hands with the work. </p><p>Sit down.</p><p>Said another way: You’re unhelpful. You are complicit. Said more frankly: you are worthless to the cause. Even more bluntly, you’re the problem. Your silence is as loud as the shouts of the folks you’re hiding behind. (2/3)</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>Selfishly posting so I can bookmark rather than write this out every time it’s relevant:</p><p>If you want to tone police folks who’ve suffered religious abuse but your page shows no evidence of correcting abusers, YOU are spiritually abusive.</p><p>Taking someone to task for highlighting corruption while refusing to address the underlying issues that made it necessary for them to speak out in the first place makes YOU corrupt. 🧵: (1)</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>🎉There’s lots to celebrate this <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/Juneteenth" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Juneteenth</span></a> weekend!🎉</p><p>I’m pleased to announce my contract w/ WJK Press for my 1st book: Fire in the Whole: Embracing Righteous Anger w/ White Evangelicalism &amp; Becoming Whole Again. </p><p>WJK authors include N.T. Wright, <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://bird.makeup/users/cornelwest" class="u-url mention">@<span>cornelwest</span></a></span>, &amp; David Dark! <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/author" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>author</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/authors" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>authors</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/writer" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>writer</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/writers" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>writers</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/evangelical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>evangelical</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/exvangelical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>exvangelical</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/god" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>god</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/church" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>church</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/jesus" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>jesus</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/race" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>race</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/racism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>racism</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/antiracism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>antiracism</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p><a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/book" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>book</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/author" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>author</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/books" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>books</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/writer" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>writer</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/writers" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>writers</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/writersofmastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>writersofmastodon</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/exvangelical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>exvangelical</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/evangelical" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>evangelical</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/church" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>church</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/jesus" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>jesus</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>Video crew set up in my office to interview me for a documentary about our role in dismantling the Twin Peaks shoot-out prosecutions. </p><p>177 people arrested. 150 indicted. 1 trial. No guilty verdicts. ⚖️ <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/twinpeaks" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>twinpeaks</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/waco" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>waco</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/justice" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>justice</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/lawyer" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>lawyer</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>Becoming egalitarian radicalized me: I saw women, in a fight for equality, saying what I’ve said about race. Despite breathing Xianity my whole life, w/ sincerity, I still missed it. I had to reevaluate everything.
A pal asked if that gave me grace for ⚪️ ppl still blind to dealing in racism. Yes. For 5 mins. Then 2020 hit. A pic = 1k words. If seeing folks lynched in 4K Hi-def don’t change your ❤️ my words can’t. There were protests in ENGLAND over George Floyd. Everyone gets it but WEC🇺🇸s <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/church" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>church</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>In “Terrify No More”, Gary Haugen (International Justice Mission) wrote of immense challenges of fighting human trafficking against incredible odds: </p><p>“When we mourn tragedy &amp; ask, ‘Why did God let this happen?’, God has more right to ask us why WE allowed it to happen.”</p><p>Lord willing, I will never </p><p>Never </p><p>**NEVER**</p><p>put myself in the position of standing before the Judgment Seat &amp; come up short because the Lord has to ask that of me. Never.<br /><a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/justice" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>justice</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>Men on Mother’s Day, five minutes after doing half of what women do all day every day:</p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>New FridayFire <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/substack" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>substack</span></a>🔥 
“The 1st time I understood it was leaving ⚪️ evangelical church from racialized spiritual abuse: You say you believe in racial reconciliation - united on earth as it is in Heaven, but you can’t say, “Black Lives Matter”? <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/antiracism" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>antiracism</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/christian" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>christian</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/church" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>church</span></a> <a href="https://fosstodon.org/tags/survivor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>survivor</span></a> 
<br /><a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/fridayfirebyrobertcallahan/p/its-too-late-to-apologize?utm_source=direct&amp;r=1h2nfv&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">open.substack.com/pub/fridayfi</span><span class="invisible">rebyrobertcallahan/p/its-too-late-to-apologize?utm_source=direct&amp;r=1h2nfv&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web</span></a></p>
Robert G. Callahan, II<p>I left ⚪️ evangelicalism once loving a “wider audience” limited their ability to minister to 🟤 folks.</p><p>Being “clear” limited their ability to love the LGBTQ+. Maximizing the greater mission limited ability to advocate for women. </p><p>Loving the unborn hampered an ability to love the marginalized. Love of weaponry inhibits love of the living.</p><p>At some point, a mission focus is too narrow to call it ministry. My hope is not found in the church. My hope is in Jesus &amp; those who love &amp; feed His sheep.</p>
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