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IT: “You’ve been fired. Please return your laptop…”

“But how do i retrieve all my personal files?”

IT: [Shrug emoji]

Like IT gives you any time to get anything off a corporate-owned device.

When I got laid off, IT sent a bullet to my laptop immediately kicking me off and completely locking me out of it.

I was supposed to have another 4 days to transition my work. I contacted IT and was told once the bullet goes out, that’s it. Any and all access to everything has been terminated. Might as well just go home and enjoy the extra 4 days because no one’s going to undo a bullet going off early unless it comes from the C-suite. So I did.