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#TheOnion

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Crazypedia⍼ :verified_pride:<p>You know how important the document is because of all the black highlighter they used to bring attention to the importance parts.</p><p><a href="https://theonion.com/cia-realizes-its-been-using-black-highlighters-all-thes-1819568147/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/cia-realizes-its-</span><span class="invisible">been-using-black-highlighters-all-thes-1819568147/</span></a></p><p><a href="https://masto.hackers.town/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p>
MHLoppy<p><strong>Ghislaine Maxwell can’t help but notice interview room covered in plastic sheeting</strong></p> Ghislaine Maxwell can’t help but notice interview room... #theonion #satire #ghislainemaxwell #epstein <p><a href="https://theonion.com/ghislaine-maxwell-cant-help-but-notice-interview-room-covered-in-plastic-sheeting/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/ghislaine-maxwell</span><span class="invisible">-cant-help-but-notice-interview-room-covered-in-plastic-sheeting/</span></a></p>
⚯ Michel de Cryptadamus ⚯<p>the onion never misses</p><p><a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/uspol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>uspol</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/meme" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>meme</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/ghislainemaxwell" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>ghislainemaxwell</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/epstein" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>epstein</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/epsteincoverup" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>epsteincoverup</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/jeffreyEpstein" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>jeffreyEpstein</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/epsteinfiles" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>epsteinfiles</span></a></p>
Steve Thompson PhD<p>Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently</p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejoapWisPbE" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://www.</span><span class="">youtube.com/watch?v=ejoapWisPbE</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/satire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>satire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p>
Lazarou Monkey Terror 🚀💙🌈<p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Politics" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Politics</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/History" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>History</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/Satire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Satire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p>
Marco<p>Never change, <a href="https://mas.to/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a> 🐀🌯🧅</p>
Tim_Eagon<p><a href="https://theonion.com/message-hidden-backward-in-black-sabbath-album-wishes-e-1851602028/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/message-hidden-ba</span><span class="invisible">ckward-in-black-sabbath-album-wishes-e-1851602028/</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://dice.camp/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a> <a href="https://dice.camp/tags/Music" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Music</span></a> <a href="https://dice.camp/tags/BlackSabbath" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>BlackSabbath</span></a> <a href="https://dice.camp/tags/OzzieOsbourne" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OzzieOsbourne</span></a> <a href="https://dice.camp/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a></p>
Philip C James<p>Morning, all,</p><p>the White House has a "Traditional Values Bunker" buried deep below it? Who knew?</p><p>Anyone subscribed to Pete Hegseth's Top Secret Signal chat group, presumably.</p><p>So that's everyone, then...</p><p><a href="https://mas.to/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a><br><a href="https://youtu.be/kkt-s39bwWY?si=HJQDEjiwW1uWe_sW" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">youtu.be/kkt-s39bwWY?si=HJQDEj</span><span class="invisible">iwW1uWe_sW</span></a></p>
vrtxd<p><a href="https://piipitin.fi/tags/CNN" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>CNN</span></a>: Trump threatens to restrict stadium deal with Washington Commanders if they don’t change name back to ‘Redskins’ <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2025/07/20/politics/washington-commanders-trump-stadium" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">edition.cnn.com/2025/07/20/pol</span><span class="invisible">itics/washington-commanders-trump-stadium</span></a></p><p>He's clearly doing this for the reactions and coverage. Fuck <a href="https://piipitin.fi/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a> <a href="https://piipitin.fi/tags/SouthPark" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>SouthPark</span></a> timeline already. Support the indigenous in ways you can.</p>
Tim_Eagon<p><a href="https://theonion.com/rising-cost-of-living-forcing-more-buddhists-to-continue-working-years-into-reincarnation/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/rising-cost-of-li</span><span class="invisible">ving-forcing-more-buddhists-to-continue-working-years-into-reincarnation/</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://dice.camp/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a> <a href="https://dice.camp/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Humor</span></a></p>
bradorsomething<p><strong>White House Website Has New Section Renting Bedrooms: Lincoln Bedroom $1 Million Per Night</strong></p> <p><a href="https://ttrpg.network/post/22553180" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">ttrpg.network/post/22553180</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
:jan:‍:abreath:🌬️:dandelion:<p>"Rising Cost Of Living Forcing More Buddhists To Continue Working Years Into Reincarnation"</p><p><a href="https://theonion.com/rising-cost-of-living-forcing-more-buddhists-to-continue-working-years-into-reincarnation/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/rising-cost-of-li</span><span class="invisible">ving-forcing-more-buddhists-to-continue-working-years-into-reincarnation/</span></a></p><p><a href="https://pagan.plus/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p>
MHLoppy<p><strong>If I take a bullet for my child, how will they learn to take bullets themselves?</strong></p> If I take a bullet for my child, how will they learn to take... #theonion #satire <p><a href="https://theonion.com/if-i-take-a-bullet-for-my-child-how-will-they-learn-to-take-bullets-themselves/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/if-i-take-a-bulle</span><span class="invisible">t-for-my-child-how-will-they-learn-to-take-bullets-themselves/</span></a></p>
clawfulneutral<p><strong>Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia</strong></p><p>Facing mounting backlash from his MAGA base over his perceived ties to the Jeffrey Epstein case, President Donald Trump reportedly encouraged his supporters Monday to simply move on from society’s widespread disdain for pedophilia. “It’s time to just accept that some people like having sex with kids and focus on the fantastic things we’re doing to win back the respect of the world,” said Trump, who expressed frustration that instead of celebrating the passage of his domestic spending bill or his historic deportation numbers, many of his supporters were getting distracted by “something that people have done since ancient Greece.”</p><p><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-urges-supporters-to-move-on-from-societal-disdain-for-pedophilia/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://theonion.com/trump-urges-supporters-to-move-on-from-societal-disdain-for-pedophilia/</a> <a class="hashtag" href="https://soc.port0.org/tag/theonion" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#theONION</a> <a class="hashtag" href="https://soc.port0.org/tag/uspol" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#uspol</a></p>
Midnight<p><strong>MAGA Voter Drills Hole Into Skull To Relieve Sudden Doubts About Trump</strong></p> <p><a href="https://slrpnk.net/post/24749601" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">slrpnk.net/post/24749601</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
MHLoppy<p><strong>DOJ removes all mentions of justice from website</strong></p> DOJ removes all mentions of justice from website #theonion #satire #uspol #doj #pambondi <p><a href="https://theonion.com/doj-removes-all-mentions-of-justice-from-website/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/doj-removes-all-m</span><span class="invisible">entions-of-justice-from-website/</span></a></p>
Southern Libtard<p>Sometimes The Onion hits too close to the truth to be considered satire.</p><p><a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/ICE" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>ICE</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/TheOnion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TheOnion</span></a></p><p><a href="https://theonion.com/every-trait-disqualifying-ice-agent-from-previous-jobs-ideal-for-current-one/" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theonion.com/every-trait-disqu</span><span class="invisible">alifying-ice-agent-from-previous-jobs-ideal-for-current-one/</span></a></p>
Brandon<p>Too far <a class="mention" href="https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@theonion.com</a>! Too far. <a class="hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23theonion" target="_blank">#theonion</a> <a class="hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23milwaukee" target="_blank">#milwaukee</a> <a class="hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23thefonze" target="_blank">#thefonze</a></p>
FunHouse Radio<p>► <a href="https://FunHouseRadio.com" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">FunHouseRadio.com</span><span class="invisible"></span></a> &lt;-- TUNE IN<br><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/theonion" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>theonion</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/meme" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>meme</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/stupid" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>stupid</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/lol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>lol</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/absurd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>absurd</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/satire" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>satire</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/water" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>water</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sarcasm</span></a></p>
ZeroCool<p><strong>Ted Cruz Assures Texans He Working Tirelessly To Get Vacation Refunded</strong></p> <p><a href="https://lemmy.ca/post/47736643" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">lemmy.ca/post/47736643</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>