@Vishsai by certainly not neglecting it. It is like any other emotion. Anger needs to be understood. And once we understand, it vanishes. And this practice once gets automated becomes management.

That's what I think. Rest
@tariquesani will be able to explain it better.

@musafir For me when my mind goes down anger increases. Lot of things which i would be OK with now causes anger.

Usually just stay away from people and wait till I cool down. For near people feel like the a pressure bomb waiting to explode. Touch and poof.


@Vishsai Anger is a strong emotion needs to be channelized in right direction. Like some engry which you can channelize to do something productive. It has tremendous strength if we see it in that way. Other option is to find ways to reduce it so that it doesn't harm you pyscologically. Meditation helps. @musafir @tariquesani

@Poonamsharma Do agree. Have done things productively because I was angry.

But when anger makes you dysfunctional it's a whole different story. One big challenge is the lack of control when it happens.

So after a decade of going through that realised that finding moments before the anger is where the control lies.

Then it became of accepting that and staying away from people so if doesn't get an opportunity to go to the next step.

@musafir @tariquesani

Noticing triggers, choice points and acceptance is a great start.

Typically further steps include reframing the rules, restructuring goals being blocked and developing resilience.

@Poonamsharma @musafir


That part gets lost. Plus one of my goals was not to feel angry partly because of the guilt associated with hurting people. The guilt had led to me hurt myself.

So didn't want to get to that stage again.

@Poonamsharma @musafir

@Vishsai I don't have anger issues but yes I have had short temperament problem. Now its a lot better because I focused on the cause of my short tempe,understood the issues related to that,realised its not worth my energy, its harming me at great extent and I need to deal with it asap. When you want to make yourself a better and peaceful person, you find ways out to do it. @musafir @tariquesani

@Poonamsharma Didn't have short temper. But found that I kept things which angered me that keep building.

Though my ability to understand my anger seems to hit a block so thought would ask. The idea is the same. To be a better person.

@musafir @tariquesani


Yeah have learned to let go. My main problem was identifying the source of it also.

Found some to be childhood trauma, some due to over imagination of a situation and others due to plain misunderstanding. Then there were situations which made me angry which was the right. But even that anger started consuming me.

Took a lot of time to understand and let go and yet only when faced with a situation am I truly understanding how much I have let go.

@musafir @tariquesani

@Vishsai Dealing with the situation with calmness and letting go is the way. It will take time and effort and sometimes you might even fail but take a deep breath, make yourself realise that I need to improve for myself. Other people might be at wrong end but I need to be calm and handle the situation with atmost dignity and maturity. And when the situation is not in my hand then I will let it go because life is not fair and acceptance is the key. @musafir @tariquesani

We get angry when
1) A rule we have is broken
2) A goal we have is blocked
3) Our self esteem is threatened

Which one or combination is happening?

Also, not all anger is bad or unhealthy. Is the anger making you dysfunctional? If no then don’t fix it. Accept it.


The anger does make me dysfunctional. All 3 would the answer.

@Vishsai @tariquesani "It helps to notice the pain and suffering that your own anger inflicts upon you." @.naval

It's easy to give advices, than follow :)

@vjy True me asking for advice is to know more than what I understand.
And keeping it public so others may listen and hope it can help and open a dialogue.


@varkychen Yup helps big time. But you need people who will listen without judgement.

Usually tell people they call and rant and then it will be better.


@Vishsai @tariquesani Some people don't like to rant, unless you rant to them as well :0080:

@Vishsai @tariquesani
“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” Marshall Rosenberg

@tariquesani totally used to visualizing the thwack between the legs as the behind leg slip and the person trips..scary!

Sign in to participate in the conversation

Fosstodon is an English speaking Mastodon instance that is open to anyone who is interested in technology; particularly free & open source software.