I like it here cause the chances of something random I said going viral and attracting all manner of unsolicited opinions is basically zilch

When the state of Kansas gets enough experience points it levels up and becomes Arkansas

I wonder if my dog is like: I keep bringing you the thing, and you keep fucking throwing it! Buddy, I'm trying to help here!

Plot of this book so thick it just created an onlyfans

I changed the battery in my car today by myself. Feeling manly af right now

I don't care how much of a meme it is at this point, MEGALOVANIA still gets me hyped af every time I listen to it

Them: don't have kids! They're loud and dirty and take up all your time and make lots of noise!

Also them: D O G G O S

Aggretsuko season 3 minor spoiler 

Me when someone asks for a piece of gum but it's my last piece

US gun culture 

People will eat fast food everyday, drink a six pack of beer every night, smoke cigarettes, never exercise and then buy a gun to "protect their life" bitch are you about it or not??

Why the fuck would you ever show me a recipe that take more than 30 minutes

Naughty words 

People say shit like "the brain is the biggest sex organ" like come on I can't stick my tongue in a brain hole

This shit right here is what happens when you tell a dev to "add a tooltip" without any extra UX guidance

When people talk about how capitalism inspires innovation and progress I always think about the microsoft engineers that added an obfuscated sleep timer in a loading bar and each quarter when they were given a performance increase goal they just halved the sleep time

Thinking about how there were actually serious anti-littering campaigns in the 70s because apparently boomers needed to be taught that trash doesn't magically disappear when you throw it out thr car window

Show more

Fosstodon is an English speaking Mastodon instance that is open to anyone who is interested in technology; particularly free & open source software.