You're making things up again Donald

You're recklessly warping the words of the presidency

When I added Friday and Saturday night to phone do not disturb settings, that's when I knew it was all over for me

Writing a dating sim, I'm working on the scene where you're at a concert, and I made myself sad describing it. I miss doing things 😞

Pull up to the club like what up ladies I'm sapphire in Duolingo

Us politics, police 

"cop glamorizing shows causes people to love police brutality" is the liberal version of "violent video games cause people to commit mass shootings"

A nasty little secret from the tech industry: there's gonna be a whole bunch of times you have no idea what code does but you're gonna say "looks good to me" and press the green "approve" button on GitHub anyway

I like it here cause the chances of something random I said going viral and attracting all manner of unsolicited opinions is basically zilch

When the state of Kansas gets enough experience points it levels up and becomes Arkansas

I wonder if my dog is like: I keep bringing you the thing, and you keep fucking throwing it! Buddy, I'm trying to help here!

I changed the battery in my car today by myself. Feeling manly af right now

I don't care how much of a meme it is at this point, MEGALOVANIA still gets me hyped af every time I listen to it

Them: don't have kids! They're loud and dirty and take up all your time and make lots of noise!

Also them: D O G G O S

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Fosstodon is an English speaking Mastodon instance that is open to anyone who is interested in technology; particularly free & open source software.