Mistakes were made. I have some test devices in Jamf, deleted the wrong serial number (in a file for copy/paste).

Because of that, I was unable to retrieve the FileVault 2 recovery key to unlock the device to wipe it. Booting in to recovery wasn't giving me the option to log in as the user I had a password for.

** Commencing operation skid mark **

Thankfully, due to a series of fortunate events, I was able to find a way around. There's a blog post in this.

** phew **

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