When I'm up in the middle of the night because our toddler is teething I always wonder "how bad does that actually feel?"

Is this just painful enough to make it hard to go back to sleep? Or not that painful and you're just annoyed and frustrated? Or is it painful beyond what the Tylenol I can give you can help with?

Too bad he can't talk or we could sort this all out and go back to sleep. :)

Also - wow, baby cameras (or really cheap internet "security cameras") are a total game changer. I honestly think we would have lost our minds trying to interpret the sounds that come out or baby monitors, only to realize that our kid isn't as upset as we thought etc.etc.

We've found that once you go in the room at night, it starts a whole series of events. So we've learned to watch for him to be trending towards sleep before barging in, etc. All of that is possible thanks to a $20 camera.

But holy moly - what are parents going to have in 30 years that will make me super jealous? It can't be anything obvious like a "robot nanny" or the game isn't fun.

And I'm up at 1:50am, so I'm only playing fun games. Ok?

My best guesses for "future inventions that cause a paradigm shift in parenting" ...

Some medicine that safely puts your kid back to sleep at night.

Diapers that automatically dry and last virtually forever unless you dookie.

Some sort of crib that can give you your kids vitals.

Any device that can accurately tell you how much pain a person is experiencing.

Some sort of pill that safely puts me back to sleep after being up for 2 hours.

A hotdog that a child cannot choke on.

A baby monitor that only goes off for real crying but magically filters out all other sound.

Toddler translator.


Gosh I'm running out of ideas and he's still not going back to sleep.

Did I mention a safe sleeping medicine? I'm talking about something that:

- Works in under 15 minutes.
- Is impossible with overdose on (or so forgiving that you'll never lie awake wondering if you should check your kid's breathing)
- Has no side effects

Bonus points if it gives you only good dreams AND gets you to sleep in till 7:00 AM like you used to... Because wtf happened this used to be going so good. LOL.

Robot butlers or nannies. They don't do the real parenting work, but they'd be able to tell me if I needed to get up for my kid or just let me keep sleeping. And bonus, fresh scones and coffee every morning.

Oh shoot I've been thinking about this all wrong. What if the invention made it so you could be productive during all of this otherwise sleepless zone out time?

I'd take a pill that could make me awake enough to get work done for 2 hours but wear off very quickly so I can go back to sleep.

There's already a pad you can put under the mattress that senses movement and whether or not baby is breathing. I have friends that splurged for one because of a medical condition. It will only come down in price.

@funnylookinhat The miracle is that you can function on only a few hours of sleep for months on end. If you tried that before you had a child, you'd get yourself sick or just be completely non-functional.

@ericphelps oh no kidding! But man, it takes a while to o get back to normal cognitive function. :-P

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