Follow

Does anyone have a partner who has a vastly different risk tolerance to them?

Strategies for planning together for the future? (You'd think we'd have this nailed after 18 years of marriage!)

@dajbelshaw I had, but it was one of the main reasons that we're not together anymore :)

@sotolf Ah. 😅

Well, I've got an adjacent question about decision-making when both partners are/were the 'eldest child'...

@dajbelshaw We were both the oldest as well, but we have/had a very different view on what risk is acceptable with me being the one always wanting to be 100% sure, while she was way more acceptant of risks.

@sotolf Opposite way round for us - I'm more risk-tolerant, she's more risk-averse...

@dajbelshaw We were an interesting couple going to the casino, she wanted to take risk, I just ended up hoarding what I could as long as I got over the admittance amount of chips, we usually ended up going out with ~150 € + but mine was never much higher than 40, hers was higher, but mine were always safe :p Apropos nothing I guess I just am talkative today.

@dajbelshaw I guess my only tip would be you have to provide more research on what appears to be “more” risky , especially if it’s about challenging “comfortable” may also be good to get a list of the perceived risks from the more cautious, may also mean creating more stepping stones between the safety and the risk. Just thinking out loud and you probably thought of all this

@adamprocter Ah yes, the risks of being cautious. Difficult to quantify, though, isn't it?

A bit like the conversation we had about vaccinating kids - there's risk in *not* vaccinating them, but it's an unknown, hidden, future risk. If you *do* vaccinate them (and one or more dies) then you've caused the harm...

@dajbelshaw @adamprocter Arguably, either way, you've caused the harm .. but yeah "future, maybe-harm" is harder to quantify.
(My partner and I are also both oldest, and both did a lot of alpine climbing and ski-touring in the past, mostly before-kids, so I guess are also used to "explicit risk-planning" conversations?)

@meejah @adamprocter Right, and there's risks which are accepted *as* risks and those which aren't. It's all very complicated, especially when there's emotion involved too.

@dajbelshaw @adamprocter Humans are _very_ inconsistent with this.
We'll spend a lot of words talking about the snow-stability of a slope before skiing it, but zero words talking about whether we should drive 90km/h or 120km/h on the way home....

@dajbelshaw @adamprocter Luckily, my partner and I don't disagree on vaccinations .. because, yeah, "kids involved" makes it harder .. we're tackling a similar question, though, as my kids want to backcountry-ski...

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Fosstodon

Fosstodon is an English speaking Mastodon instance that is open to anyone who is interested in technology; particularly free & open source software.