Having "do-not-disturb" modes for audible notifications seems to be all the rage these days. But I think I've found a better solution:

Just don't install an audio stack at all :D (This also solves the "annoying autoplaying video" issue as a bonus!)

More seriously, after about a month without an audio stack on my laptop, I think it's time that I admit I'm not just putting off installing Pulse—I genuinely don't need/miss audio on this PC.

(Probably not for everyone, though!)

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