Here is the prologue for the manuscript I'm working on.
The title of the potential novel is:
You can read that prologue here: https://writing.bnolet.me/posts/2021/05/data-slave-prologue/
Any feedback is GREATLY appreciated. You can also send to email@example.com
@brandon The last paragraph is *really* good. The third one is imo too short. But take it with a grain of salt, I'm not a writer.
I liked the Facebook reference in Spanish
@ezrayun What about:
"...turning up dead in foreign countries. One guy gets stationed somewhere in a developing country under the guise of investing in 'developing economies', and suddenly he turns up dead."
I could add that into the third paragraph :)
@brandon No, your original writing is wayyy better. This, at least for me, makes it more abstract than it needs to be. Sorry for the (bad) advice 😅
@ezrayun You wouldn't know it yet, but that actually reveals a little about the nature of the novel. There will be some legitimate politics involved, or at least some of the drama that can surround politics.
You'll see in the first chapter ;)
@brandon Hey there. I read your prologue. It's definitely promising. My advice, as someone who writes in the same genre, is to go for subtlety. People don't see themselves as evil, and that goes for big tech employees as well.
Big tech is really good at making people believe that privacy violations are a good thing. People don't need to be coerced to accept Big Brother. They actually pay to invite Big Brother in their homes. Use that.
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