Holy crap. I didn't know I had this in me. I just coded the most aesthetically pleasing new tab page I've ever seen. The search bar even works and searches #DuckDuckGo.
All that's left is hosting it locally so I get blazing speeds.
@ajdunevent Unless you're going to use a webserver to host it locally, you'll have to do what I did and host it somewhere else or write a single HTML file with all the CSS and have it reference third-parties for all the fonts and icons and such. I haven't found an extension lets you do anything locally without a single file or webserver.