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I trust Mastodon a whole lot more than other social media, and that means slowly unlearning my hesitance to post. I’ll start: today I got my learner’s permit. I’m really excited to learn to drive, and this was an important step. I still need to do more until it becomes a full license, but those steps aren’t particularly Covid friendly so I’ll stay semi-legal for now. 🥳

FIGBERT boosted

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Intel® 64 and IA-32 Architectures Software Developer’s Manual, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids in real mode, and I have over 300 confirmed general protection faults. I am trained in SSE warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire Intel armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this microarchitecture, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the US and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cache-invalidate you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the x86_64 architecture and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


Fosstodon is an English speaking Mastodon instance that is open to anyone who is interested in technology; particularly free & open source software.